Excited..

I just got back from getting my hair cut and I'm kinda excited about my math proficiency tomorrow. I feel really confident about it because I have studied a lot within the last 3 weeks. Hopefully I pass it this time so school can get more easier for me. My hair looks cute and I'm ready for a good nights rest and breakfast in the morning. Then ill be off to school to take my test and then to an interview. wish me luck...

Love

I love the way you make me happy, and the ways you show your care. I love the way you say, "I Love You," and the way you’re always there.
If the people we love are stolen away from us the only way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever…
I love my family and the people in my life that are important to me!

Stressed out....

Tomorrow is my math proficiency and I'm so nervous. I really hope I pass it this time because graduation is not that far away. I went for help after school for about 3 weeks so I hope I get it this time. I only failed by 5 points so hopefully I improve at least 5 more points so I can pass. this is the only thing from holding me back from graduating. I've been studying so much.

Job interview

Ok so I was in class today and I got an email on my phone. It was an email saying that my job interview at Starbucks was confirmed. I'm so excited to go because I'm dieing to get a job. I am in need of money so I hope I get this job. I think it would be fun to work at Starbucks. I also got another one tomorrow after school. Its at my moms job as a customer care rep. Its just dealing with customers and making reservations. I'm super excited.

Best day ever...

Today was a very good day for me. I spent the day with my boyfriend and it was fun and relaxing. We watched movies all day and at the end of the night he made dinner for me. I think that was the best part of the night. We had a BBQ and other side dishes. I never realized my man knew how to cook so good. Well i do now!

R.I.P.

So I have a funeral to go to this Saturday. I really don't want to go because I don't really remember my grandma's brother to well. I just want to go to pay my respects so he knows that even though I don't remember him so well I still love him and he will be missed dearly. I want to be there for my family and be a big support to my grandma since this is her second loss in a few months. I know my grandparents are getting scared because they know they are getting up there in age and everyone around them is passing away. That's going to be a hard day and I don't really want to think about it. R.I.P. BILLY JOE BATEMON! YOU WILL BE MISSED AND LOVED DEARLY.....

Unbelievable

I am so mad and I've had the worst week ever. I was at home on Wednesday and I called the school district and found out that i failed my math proficiency by 2 points. I thought I was going to loose my mind. Only 2 points. its unbelievable. I spent my whole day in tears. So now that I only have one more time to take it I'm going to study hard in my math apps class and I'm going to my dads school at night so the math teacher there can help me. its all free so I'm taking advantage of it. I hope and pray that I pass it this time so I don't have to worry about it over the summer.

In Pain =(

I spent my Spring Break worried as heck and then Friday, Saturday, and Sunday sick because of a head concussion. I was in the shower and I guess the water was to hot. I passed out and when I woke up my nose and ear were bleeding. I got out of the shower and laid down. I went to the doctors the next day and he told me that i hit the left side of my head to hard and that's what was causing the inside of my ear to bleed. He gave me medicine for it and told me to relax. It is so hard because when my ear bleeds it hurts and burns so bad. My spring break had a lot of ups and downs. I hope i get better soon. I did go and take my drivers test today and I passed so that was a good thing.

Super Happy

So today i was laying on my bed thinking that my 18Th birthday was going to suck but as i almost started to cry my phone rings. It was the love of my life who i haven't got to talk to or see in a week. I was so so happy because he told me he was coming home and he would be here for my birthday. It made me want to cry more. I was the happiest girl ever. I don't think Ive missed someone this bad in my life. I love this man more than anything and i don't go a second of the day without thinking about him. We are going to celebrate my birthday on Saturday. He's taking me somewhere special and i cant freakin wait. Everyone was telling me that it would all work out but i didn't believe. I have to remember to have faith.

Music

Country music always puts me in a happy and emotional mood. One of my favorite songs is "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. I love this song because its about life and it gives me inspiration. Sometimes I wake up and feel that I have the whole world on my shoulders and when I hear this song it just makes me happy. Another song I like is "Check Yes Or No" by George Straight. This song reminds me of my mom and dad because they met in high school and been together since then. I want my relationship to be strong like this as well. This song is just a wonderful song and is good for couples. I love music period. Its my life. Music puts me in all different kinds of moods. If the world didn't have music everything would be backwards.

Missing you.....

Having someone by your side day in and day out might seem to get old after a while but when you love someone that's not the case. I love being around you 24-7 and yes everyone has their ups and downs in a relationship but we can make it no matter how hard things seem to get. When your far away from me for a long period of time I start to get down and lonely. I feel like life has no purpose and I seem to be lost in this world. Everything is in a daze and never feels the same. I just keep thinking negative thoughts and all I want is for you to come home and wrap your arms around me and never let go. You tell me that you cant wait to see me but its just not the same without you here by my side. I cry myself to sleep every night because I'm used to you being here, and everyone tells me to get out and have fun but its impossible to do that if your not with me. You tell me you love me every other second of the day but its just not the same when its not face to face. I cant lie, I miss you more than anything and cant wait till I have you back in my arms. When your around I pay attention to every little detail but when your not I could care less. I lay around looking at our pictures as tears roll down my cheeks and your not here to wipe them away and tell me "baby, everything will be fine." I need you in my life just as much as you need me so I have to stay strong. I can only imagine whats going threw your mind as you try and fall asleep every night with out me. I'm not the only one in pain and missing you so it just makes me stronger when I think about it. I cant wait till you come home to me and we have each other back in our arms. I just want you to know that the world means everything to me and you are my world. I love you Brandon Carroll with all my heart!!!
XOXOXO (=

Fish

Fish are so amazing. My brother got a huge fish tank today with lots of colorful fish. When he put it all together and when it was all set up we sat there for like an hour and just watched the fish swim around. It was so peaceful and relaxing. We started to laugh because it was funny how something so little can be so peaceful and entertaining. I love dolphins so, water and sea shells are awesome to me. I love the ocean scene and the sound of waves rolling up on the shore. All the pretty colors of the fish and how its just so relaxing is amazing.

Dreams

Dreams can be weird sometimes. They can also be scary and may even be true. I keep having this dream about an eagle. I don't know what it could stand for or what my dream is trying to tell me. Ive always heard that eagles stand for freedom. Well i am already free aren't i? I have this Indian dream catcher in my room that has a bald eagle on it. maybe that's why i have this dream about it. I dream that I'm in the mountains running from someone or something and there is this eagle above me. what could this mean? I also heard that they fly above things that are dead. Could this mean i might die in the mountains and this eagle will circle around me? Well if so, i guess i could say my dreams have come true.

Spring Break!!

Spring Break is officially here and I'm super excited. I'm going to go out tonight to a bar & grill to sing karaoke with my mom, boyfriend and best friend. We are going to have so much fun. Then I'm off to Arizona for the week. I have property out in Dolan Springs. I'm going to go out there to free my mind and just get away. This is what i need because the stress has been stacking up. I'm going to go ride my dirt bike and shoot all my guns. Me and my family are gonna have so much fun. We wake up in the morning and cook a yummy breakfast, then we all just hang out and enjoy each others company. At night we sit around the pit fire and roast marsh mellows and have fun. We laugh so much and it always sucks to leave but at the same time it doesn't because we are all ready to get home to our shower and nice warm beds. I'm stocked to go and enjoy life with no problems.

School

School is really important to some people but not a lot of people make it. Why is this? Well I can tell you some reasons why certain people don't make it in school. I found myself sitting in class yesterday while trying to learn and I noticed lots of high school teenagers listening to their ipod's and texting on their cell phones. I find it hard to listen to the important things if your mind is set on a favorite song or someone who is gossiping about another person. I honestly think that the students who don't want to pay attention in class should not have a right to be in there. When their are students that try to be funny and drawl all attention to the class, then this shows they don't really want to learn. Students like this make it hard for teachers to teach and for students to learn. The reason being is because when students act out of line the teachers have to stop the lesson just to punish them and it just slows everything down. Another reason why most high school kids don't make it is because they are to worried about making friends and not focused on what is really important. I think it really sucks for those students who do well in all their classes but struggle on tests. This would be me, I do pretty well in all my classes knowing that I'm hardly ever at school due to illness but i find a way to keep up. I have all my credits and I've passed all my profiencey's except for the math. I just took it not that long ago and now I'm waiting for the results. This is the only thing keeping from knowing that I'm going to graduate or not. This is my biggest dream in life right now and sometimes i feel like giving up because I feel like I have nobody to turn to. I will be the first in my family to graduate. I have made it this far in school and would not want to give it all up now but its hard. I fell that most students do the same because they find it easier to just give up then to keep going. Well for those students reading this, just do your best and let god handle the rest. =)